So, here we are... the
first fuckin' post of my blog... yes, the first fuckin' post, and you
all have the privilege of being the VERY FIRST to hear what I think!
Don't it just make you feel all warm and squishy inside?
Like fuzzy, fluffy
fuckin' teddy bears are hugging your soul?
Like Bob Ross is
painting happy little fuckin' trees in your heart?
Good!!!
So, why are we here?
What's the point of all this? Why do I have to say “fuck” so
much?
All will be revealed in
good time. Don't worry... I'm not gonna leave you hanging for long.
Why do I swear so much?
Well, quite simply, I write the way I think and the way I talk. I'm
using a writing technique called “stream of consciousness,” which
means that I just write every word that crosses my bulbous fuckin'
brain. Sure, I go back and edit later, but I don't add or remove any
fowl language.
If profanity offends
you, I'm NOT gonna tell you to go somewhere else, but I will ask you
WHY you find certain words SO offensive that you just can't stand to
see them before your eyes.
All your life, you've
been told not to use these words. Why? What makes those words any
worse than the rest of the lexicon? More harsh, perhaps; but I
wouldn't say “worse”. I believe these words ARE in the English
language for a reason, and that reason is to add emphasis where
emphasis is needed. Sometimes, it's for comedic or dramatic effect.
Sometimes, it's to add that extra exclamation point where it's
needed. Sometimes, it's to piss off people that DESERVE to be
offended! “Dirty words” can be used just as effectively to infer
emotion as well. I mean, which one sounds angrier: “Screw you!”
or “FUCK you!”?
The great philosopher,
George Carlin, spent most of his professional life tackling this
topic, of course. Early in his career, while performing at a College
campus, he gained notoriety by performing a list of seven words you
can't say on television (the content of which led to a First
Amendment lawsuit that was settled by the Supreme Court in Mr.
Carlin's favor), which he later changed and expanded, based on the
commentary and feedback of English Professors and other language
experts. The amended list, as he saw it, includes the words fuck,
shit, piss, cunt, cocksucker, tits, fart, taint, and twat.
Arguably, those are
some of the most FUN words in the English language; not just the
dirtiest. They're fun, partly because they make prudish people
cringe, but they also have the added benefit of providing us with the
means to keep this blog all to ourselves! If the people who disagree
with sentiment simply because of the words I use don't wanna read it,
FINE!!! But that also means you're gonna be left out of all the FUN
we're gonna have... enjoy your white bread and mayonnaise sandwich.
Maybe you can follow it up with a nice bowl of crushed ice for
desert... enjoy!
As for the rest of you
who choose to remain, WELCOME FUCKIN' ABOARD!!!
I plan on releasing new
material twice a week or more. At first, the days will be random
until I find specific days and times that give you the time to read
and comment, while keeping you entertained and intellectually
nourished enough to return. Part of my goal here is to open debate
about some crucial issues that are otherwise unrepresented or
underrepresented by today's corporately-run media... in some cases,
the shit between the lines.
I want to piss you off
(not at me... don't shoot the fuckin' messenger).
I want to make you
think.
I want to make you
laugh.
I want to make you
scream.
I want to make you
horny!!! (ladies???)
Most of all, I want you
to READ MY SHIT!!!
So please, bookmark my
blog and visit regularly!
Enjoy!
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