Monday, April 7, 2014

Dear Charles Koch

Dear Charles Koch,

You truly are a sad, pathetic, narcissist.

The op-ed you wrote in the Wall St. Journal was the single most glaringly ABHORRENT thing I've read since MEIN KAMPF!

Let me point something out... something that you are OBVIOUSLY oblivious of, apparently...


YOU are the new public face of “Affluenza”!

You have ABSOLUTELY no idea how the other side lives, so don't come to me talking about your “principles,” because YOUR (completely soulless, immoral, anti-ethical) “principles” don't mean a fuck to me.

You have CORRUPTLY PURCHASED governments on all levels, all the way down to SMALL SCHOOL BOARDS!

You pump your oil all over the world's lands and waters.

You pay POVERTY WAGES at your corporations.

You work to KICK people who are already down.

You (and your shitty brother) are the most morally and intellectually corrupt individuals since MOUSILLINI!

You may have billions in (several) banks (many of which you hide so you don't have to pay your fair share on them, you thieving fucks), but with regards to your behavior, you're completely and totally ETHICALLY bankrupt!

You worship Ayn Rand, because you feel it entitles you to have no conscience about the things you do...

Well, why don't you be more like John Galt...

… and just...

… fuck off...

… go away...

… leave...

… we don't want you OR your shitty companies...

… just take your money and fuck off...

… seriously.

You (so-called) “Libertarians” are supposed to believe that “your freedom ends where mine begins,” but with your corruption of the nation's governments, you have shown that you actually don't agree with that.  You seem to think that you can do whatever you want to THE REST OF US, but that we can't have anything to say or do about it.

To put this into context, you fucking hypocrite, this means you are essentially saying “Your freedom never begins because mine never ends.”

If you TRULY believed that, you would just take your shitty money, build your own shitty island, and keep to yourself, sustainably, so you don't have to rely on anyone else.

Instead, you take everything you can from everyone else (yes... I'm saying YOU'RE the “taker”), and walk all over everyone else to do it.

So, here's my proposal...

Do it... just go fuck off to your own island... leave society... take your shitty brother with you, so you can yacht between each others islands... and leave the rest of us the fuck alone...

… or else...

Google the date “14 July, 1789” for more info.

Here's a hint:

You've NEUTERED our government's ability to act against you, by buying enough of it off... but THE PEOPLE are pissed... your tyranny won't stand much longer... THE PEOPLE won't allow it.

So, in closing, allow me to sum up my commentary thusly:

      -You're a fucking narcissist.
      -You're a fucking Blueblood.
      -You're WORSE than that "Affluenza" kid (HE only killed FOUR people... you're responsible for
      -Fuck off.
      -Go away.
      -You're a fucking hypocrite.
      -Fuck off.
      -Picture of a guillotine.

Pray we never meet face-to-face.


Thursday, April 3, 2014

John Roberts and SCROTUS: America's Festering Hemorrhoid

Our Supreme Court has dissolved into a pathetic catastrophe.

Yesterday's blatantly CORRUPT decision regarding CORRUPTION was another abomination from a Court I have entirely lost faith in.

John Roberts' writing of the decision was reminiscent of the graven messages left by the “Lipstick Killer,” William Heirens.

Heirens had a compulsion to kill, that he couldn't control.  He was given the nickname “The Lipstick Killer,” by leaving messages on the walls of his victims' bedrooms written in lipstick, reading “For heaven's sake catch me before I kill more.  I cannot control myself.”

Here's what I mean by that...

John Roberts wrote the decision HIMSELF.  In it, he basically said that in order to prove corruption or bribery, you have to PHYSICALLY CATCH money changing hands ON VIDEO, in order for it to be confirmed as corruption.

“Justice” Roberts, though, must have gotten this little tip from the Koch brothers, when he spoke at one of their anal-tongue-cleansing seminars (loosely billed as “conferences”).  He would have NEEDED that tip to deal with a guilty conscience, seeing as how he was about to make SEVERAL decisions in their favor, while completely ignoring the Constitution.

Let's be honest, though... there are more people in SCROTUS than JUST Roberts, who is actually SMALL POTATOES when you compare his corruption to that of “Justice” Uncle Thomas.

We should have known this guy would be an insufferable, worthless douchebag during the Anita Hill hearings... but the problem is, we have too many other insufferable, worthless misogynists in America, who decided that she must have been lying because she's a woman.  Honestly, that's the ONLY reason he was confirmed.  He's a misogynist, and he appealed to all the other American misogynists.

Before becoming a “Justice,” Thomas was a Corporate Lawyer for Monsanto.  Since then, he has never recused himself from judging a Monsanto case, and has found in their favor EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!  I should say, though... what do you expect from the company that used to make AGENT ORANGE for use in Viet Nam?  Obviously, they have no conscience; and neither does Thomas.

Thomas' wife, Ginny, is very politically active in the Tea Party, takes some of her paychecks from the KOCH BROTHERS and other billionaires, who her husband conveniently finds in favor of every time one of them appears before their court.

Thomas has also been caught cheating on his taxes... not reporting all of his income... not reporting parts of his wife's income... more evidence that he doesn't want to get caught being corrupt!

I would take a stab and say that “Justice” Thomas is THE SINGLE MOST CORRUPT SUPREME COURT “JUSTICE” IN AMERICAN HISTORY!  Furthermore, I would argue that there is plenty of evidence to back up that claim.

If the Supreme Court were “Alice in Wonderland,” “Justices” Alito and Scalia would be Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.  I've always seen these two failures of American Education as interchangable.  I've never known them to disagree with each other, and they have the common sense of DRYER LINT, whilst maintaining the intellectual consistency of RUNNY SNOT!

Basically, these two are Theocrats masquerading as “Justices”.  They only believe that ONE religion exists, and that ONLY THAT RELIGION should be granted protection under the law; and that NO other religion matters, because it's not a “real religion,” because it's not what THEY believe.

They are BOTH Creationists, who, as we all know, are absolute fucking morons, with no critical thinking ability whatsoever!

Great... two Creationists sitting on the SUPREME FUCKING COURT... yeah... THAT'S what we need... people with an absolute absence of intellectual integrity... THAT'LL do this country good...

Creationists are archaic, moronic IDIOTS, who have NO BUSINESS being ANYWHERE NEAR law... but we have TWO of them on our HIGHEST COURT (and more than a few on the CONGRESSIONAL SCIENCE COMMITTEE... but that's another rant)!!!

So, here's my question...

Monday, March 10, 2014

Brode's New Bill of Rights

Friends, allow me to make a suggestion... one that goes back to two specific points in our history as a Nation; the writing of the Bill of Rights, and the Presidency of Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

The history of our planet has shown that when money stays in one family for a few generations, they start to think that they're BETTER than everyone else!  When they get this bullshit, inflated sense of superiority (otherwise known as "Affluenza"), they get it in their heads that they can just buy the government out from underneath us, because they're somehow more deserving of rights than the rest of us clods.

We saw it during Slavery... we saw it during the robber-baron era... we saw it during the Great Depression... and we've seen it at it's worst in the last 40 years.  

With the levels of corruption that we've seen at all these times, the time has come to say "Enough is enough" and realize that this is a cycle that will only continue, unless it's addressed as the human rights issue that it is!

Therefore, without further ado, here is my solution to the problem of the tyranny of the wealthy!

I hope you agree, and that you take this to heart as a way to improve our Nation.

If they won't play nice, then we have to MAKE THEM play nice!


WE THE PEOPLE of the United States, having formed a great union, deem these Amendments to the Constitution to be necessary.  As the first Bill of Rights addressed the right to be free from tyranny by the government, it has since shown necessary to also address the tyranny of the wealthy upon the poor.

1. Every man and woman of working age has a right to a job that pays them a living wage.

2. Every man, woman, and child has a right to health care, a home, healthy food and clean water.

3. No executive position shall pay more than one-hundred times the annual salary of the lowest-paid position under their charge.  Executive wage increases must be voted on by the workforce.

4. No corporate entity may use legal representation of greater expense than that of the person suing them.

5.  All workers have a right to arbitration for unjust firings.

6.  Privately-run enterprises that are deemed to be “predatory” can be shut down and their assets seized by the United States Government.

7.  The right of the people to be free from persecution by their employers for what they say and express themselves in their private lives.

8.  The right of the people to know what information is gathered about them by corporate or non-profit entities.

9.  The right of the people to be free from Corporate Monopolism.

10.  The top twenty percent of the wealthiest individuals and businesses may not lobby Government at any level.

Well, there you go... was it everything you were hoping for?  Does this look like 10 things that will address the problems that we currently face?  Is this radical enough?  Is this TOO radical?  You tell me...

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes

Allow me to put the views presented in this piece into context.  This may sound strange, but some of the best advice I've ever heard came from the movie, “Team America: World Police”.


“I hurt people... I'm a dick!”

“Well, bein' a dick ain't so bad.  See, there are three kinds of people; Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes!  Pussies think everyone can get along, and Dicks just wanna fuck all the time without thinkin' it through; but then, you got your Assholes, Chuck.  And all the Assholes want is to SHIT ALL OVER EVERYTHING!  So, Pussies may get mad at Dicks once in a while, because Pussies get fucked by Dicks; but Dicks ALSO fuck Assholes, Chuck!  And if they didn't fuck the Assholes, you know what you'd get?  You'd get your DICK AND YOUR PUSSY ALL COVERED IN SHIT!”

in the grounds of the modern political climate, as I see it.

I'm going to start with the obvious one...

Republicans are Assholes.  There's no other way to put it.  They ONLY care about the rich, and fall just short of a mantra of “FUCK THE POOR!”  They think that they're superior to everyone else because of their religion, their position in society, and their... well... whiteness.

Yes... I'm just going to say it...

The Republican Party has become a White Supremacist Party, regardless of whether or not they realize it or want to admit it!  I don't hear anybody denouncing it... not anymore... I don't hear any calls for decency in the party... all I hear coming from them is,

“If you're not JUST LIKE US, then you don't deserve rights!  You can't vote!  You can't get any help from the government (unless you're rich)!  No Faggots allowed!  No non-Christians allowed!  No Mexicans allowed!  No Darkies allowed (exceptions made for Uncle Toms)!

You must express Nationalistic sentiment at all times!  If you're not wearing at least one article of clothing or jewelry with the American flag on it, you're ANTI-AMERICAN!  Dissent is treason!

ONLY OUR religion matters!  All other religions are PHONY!  You MUST worship OUR religion, or you're not an American!”

Theocratic White Supremacists are Assholes!  Republicans are Theocratic White Supremacists, so that makes them Assholes!

Next group:

Democrats are Pussies.

Not only do they think that everyone can just... get along... they don't understand the concept that

“Respect GRANTED is for respect EARNED!”

So they just let the Republicans get away with all their name-calling, lies, and absolute lunacy and stupidity; believing that they're acting like the “adult in the room.”

Here's the thing, though...

If they want to be the “adult in the room,” then their job, as the adults, is to discipline BRATTY TODDLERS, if their parents have left them in control!  If their parents aren't around, then it becomes YOUR DUTY to see that their parents are informed as to their misbehavior!  If their parents let them keep doing this destructive, antisocial behavior and throwing hissy-fits when they don't get their way, then you have to DISCIPLINE THE PARENTS!

Pussies WANT to be the “adult in the room”, but they're too chickenshit to act when they need to!  All the time they should be ACTING, they sit there waving their finger, saying,

“Now, now... children... settle down... stop throwing things... that's not very nice... please behave... would you do it for your brother?  No?  Please calm down... if we work together, we can clean the house... I know you don't wanna help, but I need you to... that's not very nice; why would you say that about me... OUCH!  NO BITING!... can we please focus on this?  I know you want cookies, but you can't have any right now... settle down... settle down... gosh, why won't you settle down?... that's not very nice...”

All the time, the Pussies don't realize that the parents have given the toddlers COCAINE, and they'll NEVER settle down until they completely crash... and you can FORGET about a nap (for you OR them)!

So, if we have a proliferation of Pussies and Assholes in our Government, where the fuck are the Dicks?

There are a few Dicks... but nowhere near enough to ACTUALLY make a difference.

I would consider Dicks to be people like Alan Greyson, Elizabeth Warren, and Bernie Sanders... but of those three, only one has the unabashed balls to call things what they are.

Alan Greyson, during the Health “Care” Reform debate, brilliantly and honestly said,

“This is the Republican Party's plan for Health Care:
Step one is, DON'T GET SICK...
… but if you DO get sick...
… the Republican plan is to DIE QUICKLY!”

See what I mean?

Now THAT took balls!  THAT'S the kind of Dick we need more of!

Slap the fuckers down... call them out and make them defend themselves!  Make them prove you wrong!  Say it STRONGLY!  Say it LOUDLY!  If you have to break a few arms and hurt some feelings, SO BE IT!  If that's going to hurt someone's feelings, then maybe that's because YOU'RE RIGHT!

Here's what the Pussies don't realize...

You may not like that, but that doesn't make it any less true.  We're violent, barbaric, meat-eating, gun-collecting, “shoot 'em if yer wronged”, cage-fighting worshipers of sadism and war.  Our entertainment and our history is all you need to prove that fact.  Bear in mind, the second we honkeys set foot on Plymouth Rock, we were a nation bent on white Christian privilege and war.  The first things we did as a Nation were wipe out the Native Americans, bring slaves from Africa, burn witches, force Christian imperialism on the indigenous peoples who decided not to fight us, and then went to war with the country that largely funded our pilgrimage from Europe...

As for our entertainment, look at the most popular movies and television shows... most of the popular movies come with an R rating (and even the PG-13 movies can be pretty heavy-handed... consider “The Ring”).  We produce a lot of movies that glorify our past wars and warriors.  Television is FILLED with violent images and concepts, all across the spectrum of our viewership.  What were the most popular toys when I was a kid?  GI Joe.  He Man.  Transformers.  We program war into our children from the earliest ages, and continue all through life.  There should be no surprise that we grow into violent adults.

I'll never deny that I personally consume these things, myself... I watch some of the most violent horror and action movies out there... from Peter Jackson's early work, to James Wan's.  I'm no stranger to disturbing imagery, and quite frankly, I enjoy it.  What you have to consider is, in that regard, I'm part of a HUGE majority of Americans, who consume and enjoy violence just as I do.

So, if you sit there and cosmetically scrub every phrase to make it as “unoffensive” as possible, walk on eggshells to try and make people like you, and let the other side bully you without making noise about it, then you're only going to attract MORE PUSSIES LIKE YOU, and nothing will get done, because the Pussies are too afraid to take any truly effective ACTION!  They'd rather sit there and get SHIT ON by the Assholes!

My advice to anyone who may be seeking to enter the CLUSTERFUCK we call our “Government,” here you go:

1. Don't be afraid of offending people who NEED TO be offended!

2. Call a bigot a bigot... a liar a liar... a Calvinist a Calvinist... a Theocrat a Theocrat... and an Asshole an Asshole!

3. Don't let the Pussies soften your words!

4. Use more “Emotional” words.  For example, call it “WAGE THEFT” rather than “income inequality.” “Theft” promotes anger, while “inequality” promotes pity, which many barbaric Americans see as “whiny.”

5. Avoid using words that instil pity.  Stick with words that trigger and promote anger and ire!

6. Make your own waves and ride them into shore!

7. Stand up for yourself!

8.  Exploit their weaknesses! This means hit them in the 'stupid' button... they're not that smart... really... they're not.

9. Here's a valuable phrase:  “How much were you paid to say that?”  Ask this EVERY TIME they disparrage the poor, promote the oil industry, bash Obamacare, deny climate change, or mention “over-regulation”!

10. When they talk about Abortion or Gay Marriage, recite the first ten words of the First Amendment: “Congress shall pass no law respecting an establishment of religion!”  Then, POINT OUT that these are the FIRST TEN WORDS of the FIRST Amendment, and that if they haven't read that, then they probably haven't read ANY of the Constitution (because they haven't)!

11. If they say they should be elected because they're a Christian, recite this part of Article 6 of the Constitution:

“No religious test shall ever be required for any office or public trust under the United States.”

Then, point out again that they haven't read the Constitution!

12. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING STRONGLY WORDED!  Apologies are ammunition, just like irresponsible comments!  If your opponent is offended that you would openly call him an Asshole for BEING an Asshole, then DOUBLE DOWN AND MAINTAIN COURSE!  People WILL respect you for it!

These measures will net you a national audience, a lot of eyes, a lot of donations, and a lot of votes!

… or you could run as a Pussy, and forgo the people who WANT AND DESERVE a hard-headed, unabashedly blunt, unapologetically honest BADASS for their Representative or Senator, who, if they do these things, will speak for a lot more of America than JUST the Pussies (which is actually a MINORITY in America, but not in the Democratic Party).

Thanks to the Pussies being pussies, the Assholes are basically holding the nation at a standstill...

However, thanks to the Pussies, the Assholes aren't COMPLETELY shitting all over us...

… so, I guess...

The Pussies are causing constipation in the Assholes, but the Assholes are causing constipation in EVERYTHING!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Don't Forget About the Stupid People

The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.”
-John Steinbeck

I don't want to come off as a pessimist, but here's the thing...

I'm frustrated. I'm pissed off. I feel disenfranchised. I feel ignored.

and here's why...

I've written letter after letter to politicians, and more than a few to political parties. I keep telling them one thing. In a nutshell, it can be boiled down to this:

Don't forget about the stupid people.

and here's what I mean by that...

The great George Carlin once said, “Imagine how stupid the average person is... now, realize that half the people are even dumber than that!” I've found this philosophy very useful in understanding the reasons that things are so bad right now.

You've got a bunch of evil, rich douchebags (like the Koch brothers) who understand how stupid people are, and have a subordinate organization (the Republican Party) to push their agenda and make it sound reasonable to said “stupid people”.

On the other side, you've got a bunch of people (the Democratic Party) who are so smart, they're stupid as well. These people, however, aren't stupid in the same way. Unlike the Republican stupid people, they possess the ability of CRITICAL THINKING! Unfortunately, that means that they think EVERYONE possesses the ability of critical thinking. As a result, they expect that the Republicans will have a sudden bout of rationality.

The fact of the matter is, if they are not able to think critically, then they will NEVER have that much-desired bout of rationality! The Democratic Party wants to give the stupid people the “benefit of the doubt.” They think that people will suddenly just "wake up."  They also, unfortunately, think that talking down to people is rude.

It's not “talking down” to people, though, if you're talking to them in a manner that they can relate to. If you talk over too many people's heads, they'll be more offended. They're more likely to think you're calling them stupid if you say things they are incapable of understanding, than if you HUMBLE yourself to speak to them in a way they can actually fucking relate to.

Remember during the 2008 elections, Republicans were referring to Democrats as “elitist?”

That's what they meant. “Elitism” means something different to Republicans than it does to Democrats.

Democrats see “elitism” as wealthy people talking down about poor people, as rich "Affluenza cases" are want to do, and have been increasingly verbal about.

Republicans see “elitism” as people who talk over their heads. Don't forget... these are people who OPPOSE education! Remember this?:

They think that education is “Liberal Indoctrination,” so they REJECT education readily! Therefore, when someone is more intelligent than them, they must be talking down to them like a snob! On top of that, if someone is more educated than them, they must be a filthy, stinkin', no good, Socialist, Fascist Liberal!


Most people WANT intelligent people leading them, don't they? After all, aren't smart people going to make better decisions? You'd think so... right?

Most of US would make that distinction, but when you see intelligence as the ENEMY, you're not going to vote for intelligent people; you're going to vote for people you believe to be more on YOUR level.

Let this serve as evidence of my previously posed assertion as to the lack of critical thinking skills of the people in the Republican Party. You or I READILY see the blatant failure of logic in abject hatred of intelligent people. Why do you think so many “facepalm” memes are floating around social media?

Consider Ken Ham, curator of the “Creation Museum.” He will never abandon his beliefs, because he has absolutely NO way to weigh one set of facts against another. Ergo, it really did nothing for Bill Nye to debate him, other than giving people more ammunition to laugh at the Creationists with. Very few positions will change.


This is a perfect example of the stupidity of intelligent people. The notion that debating indoctrinated people who completely lack reason might actually accomplish something, depicts the inability of intelligent people to realize HOW STUPID the stupid people are, and the lack of understanding as to why.

How often do you hear people ask, “Why don't they learn?” or “Why aren't they getting this?”

These questions often accompany facial expressions of pure confusion. The people asking these questions (usually news commentators) sit there, DUMBFOUNDED to the stupidity of things people say or do, never realizing that they're reporting on people who have NO ABILITY to change at this point!

ON A DAILY BASIS, I see or hear a talk show host, or a journalist, or another intellectual type person PULLING THEIR HAIR OUT because the person they're debating simply has no ability to challenge their knowledge or understanding, and the host completely fails to understand this fact about them. It should be noted, however, that in the case of politicians, they may be saying these things because they're PAID to say these things, regardless of what they truly believe.

On social media, if they feel they're being forced to challenge their beliefs, they talk over the person they're debating, attempt to change the topic, and ultimately resort to insults; many of which make no sense, as the person using them has no concept as to their meaning, but they've been told that these are BIG, BAD, DIRTY, LOW-DOWN things to call people, like “Socialist,” “Marxist,” “Maoist,” “Fascist,” and “Liberal.”

Think about it... haven't you noticed these things, yourself? Haven't you encountered people that are both incredibly stupid and incredibly hard-headed? Haven't you encountered REALLY stupid people who believe whole-heartedly that they're smarter than everyone else?

Too many people are either too stupid to know they're stupid, or so smart, they're stupid.