Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes

Allow me to put the views presented in this piece into context.  This may sound strange, but some of the best advice I've ever heard came from the movie, “Team America: World Police”.


“I hurt people... I'm a dick!”

“Well, bein' a dick ain't so bad.  See, there are three kinds of people; Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes!  Pussies think everyone can get along, and Dicks just wanna fuck all the time without thinkin' it through; but then, you got your Assholes, Chuck.  And all the Assholes want is to SHIT ALL OVER EVERYTHING!  So, Pussies may get mad at Dicks once in a while, because Pussies get fucked by Dicks; but Dicks ALSO fuck Assholes, Chuck!  And if they didn't fuck the Assholes, you know what you'd get?  You'd get your DICK AND YOUR PUSSY ALL COVERED IN SHIT!”

in the grounds of the modern political climate, as I see it.

I'm going to start with the obvious one...

Republicans are Assholes.  There's no other way to put it.  They ONLY care about the rich, and fall just short of a mantra of “FUCK THE POOR!”  They think that they're superior to everyone else because of their religion, their position in society, and their... well... whiteness.

Yes... I'm just going to say it...

The Republican Party has become a White Supremacist Party, regardless of whether or not they realize it or want to admit it!  I don't hear anybody denouncing it... not anymore... I don't hear any calls for decency in the party... all I hear coming from them is,

“If you're not JUST LIKE US, then you don't deserve rights!  You can't vote!  You can't get any help from the government (unless you're rich)!  No Faggots allowed!  No non-Christians allowed!  No Mexicans allowed!  No Darkies allowed (exceptions made for Uncle Toms)!

You must express Nationalistic sentiment at all times!  If you're not wearing at least one article of clothing or jewelry with the American flag on it, you're ANTI-AMERICAN!  Dissent is treason!

ONLY OUR religion matters!  All other religions are PHONY!  You MUST worship OUR religion, or you're not an American!”

Theocratic White Supremacists are Assholes!  Republicans are Theocratic White Supremacists, so that makes them Assholes!

Next group:

Democrats are Pussies.

Not only do they think that everyone can just... get along... they don't understand the concept that

“Respect GRANTED is for respect EARNED!”

So they just let the Republicans get away with all their name-calling, lies, and absolute lunacy and stupidity; believing that they're acting like the “adult in the room.”

Here's the thing, though...

If they want to be the “adult in the room,” then their job, as the adults, is to discipline BRATTY TODDLERS, if their parents have left them in control!  If their parents aren't around, then it becomes YOUR DUTY to see that their parents are informed as to their misbehavior!  If their parents let them keep doing this destructive, antisocial behavior and throwing hissy-fits when they don't get their way, then you have to DISCIPLINE THE PARENTS!

Pussies WANT to be the “adult in the room”, but they're too chickenshit to act when they need to!  All the time they should be ACTING, they sit there waving their finger, saying,

“Now, now... children... settle down... stop throwing things... that's not very nice... please behave... would you do it for your brother?  No?  Please calm down... if we work together, we can clean the house... I know you don't wanna help, but I need you to... that's not very nice; why would you say that about me... OUCH!  NO BITING!... can we please focus on this?  I know you want cookies, but you can't have any right now... settle down... settle down... gosh, why won't you settle down?... that's not very nice...”

All the time, the Pussies don't realize that the parents have given the toddlers COCAINE, and they'll NEVER settle down until they completely crash... and you can FORGET about a nap (for you OR them)!

So, if we have a proliferation of Pussies and Assholes in our Government, where the fuck are the Dicks?

There are a few Dicks... but nowhere near enough to ACTUALLY make a difference.

I would consider Dicks to be people like Alan Greyson, Elizabeth Warren, and Bernie Sanders... but of those three, only one has the unabashed balls to call things what they are.

Alan Greyson, during the Health “Care” Reform debate, brilliantly and honestly said,

“This is the Republican Party's plan for Health Care:
Step one is, DON'T GET SICK...
… but if you DO get sick...
… the Republican plan is to DIE QUICKLY!”

See what I mean?

Now THAT took balls!  THAT'S the kind of Dick we need more of!

Slap the fuckers down... call them out and make them defend themselves!  Make them prove you wrong!  Say it STRONGLY!  Say it LOUDLY!  If you have to break a few arms and hurt some feelings, SO BE IT!  If that's going to hurt someone's feelings, then maybe that's because YOU'RE RIGHT!

Here's what the Pussies don't realize...

You may not like that, but that doesn't make it any less true.  We're violent, barbaric, meat-eating, gun-collecting, “shoot 'em if yer wronged”, cage-fighting worshipers of sadism and war.  Our entertainment and our history is all you need to prove that fact.  Bear in mind, the second we honkeys set foot on Plymouth Rock, we were a nation bent on white Christian privilege and war.  The first things we did as a Nation were wipe out the Native Americans, bring slaves from Africa, burn witches, force Christian imperialism on the indigenous peoples who decided not to fight us, and then went to war with the country that largely funded our pilgrimage from Europe...

As for our entertainment, look at the most popular movies and television shows... most of the popular movies come with an R rating (and even the PG-13 movies can be pretty heavy-handed... consider “The Ring”).  We produce a lot of movies that glorify our past wars and warriors.  Television is FILLED with violent images and concepts, all across the spectrum of our viewership.  What were the most popular toys when I was a kid?  GI Joe.  He Man.  Transformers.  We program war into our children from the earliest ages, and continue all through life.  There should be no surprise that we grow into violent adults.

I'll never deny that I personally consume these things, myself... I watch some of the most violent horror and action movies out there... from Peter Jackson's early work, to James Wan's.  I'm no stranger to disturbing imagery, and quite frankly, I enjoy it.  What you have to consider is, in that regard, I'm part of a HUGE majority of Americans, who consume and enjoy violence just as I do.

So, if you sit there and cosmetically scrub every phrase to make it as “unoffensive” as possible, walk on eggshells to try and make people like you, and let the other side bully you without making noise about it, then you're only going to attract MORE PUSSIES LIKE YOU, and nothing will get done, because the Pussies are too afraid to take any truly effective ACTION!  They'd rather sit there and get SHIT ON by the Assholes!

My advice to anyone who may be seeking to enter the CLUSTERFUCK we call our “Government,” here you go:

1. Don't be afraid of offending people who NEED TO be offended!

2. Call a bigot a bigot... a liar a liar... a Calvinist a Calvinist... a Theocrat a Theocrat... and an Asshole an Asshole!

3. Don't let the Pussies soften your words!

4. Use more “Emotional” words.  For example, call it “WAGE THEFT” rather than “income inequality.” “Theft” promotes anger, while “inequality” promotes pity, which many barbaric Americans see as “whiny.”

5. Avoid using words that instil pity.  Stick with words that trigger and promote anger and ire!

6. Make your own waves and ride them into shore!

7. Stand up for yourself!

8.  Exploit their weaknesses! This means hit them in the 'stupid' button... they're not that smart... really... they're not.

9. Here's a valuable phrase:  “How much were you paid to say that?”  Ask this EVERY TIME they disparrage the poor, promote the oil industry, bash Obamacare, deny climate change, or mention “over-regulation”!

10. When they talk about Abortion or Gay Marriage, recite the first ten words of the First Amendment: “Congress shall pass no law respecting an establishment of religion!”  Then, POINT OUT that these are the FIRST TEN WORDS of the FIRST Amendment, and that if they haven't read that, then they probably haven't read ANY of the Constitution (because they haven't)!

11. If they say they should be elected because they're a Christian, recite this part of Article 6 of the Constitution:

“No religious test shall ever be required for any office or public trust under the United States.”

Then, point out again that they haven't read the Constitution!

12. NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING STRONGLY WORDED!  Apologies are ammunition, just like irresponsible comments!  If your opponent is offended that you would openly call him an Asshole for BEING an Asshole, then DOUBLE DOWN AND MAINTAIN COURSE!  People WILL respect you for it!

These measures will net you a national audience, a lot of eyes, a lot of donations, and a lot of votes!

… or you could run as a Pussy, and forgo the people who WANT AND DESERVE a hard-headed, unabashedly blunt, unapologetically honest BADASS for their Representative or Senator, who, if they do these things, will speak for a lot more of America than JUST the Pussies (which is actually a MINORITY in America, but not in the Democratic Party).

Thanks to the Pussies being pussies, the Assholes are basically holding the nation at a standstill...

However, thanks to the Pussies, the Assholes aren't COMPLETELY shitting all over us...

… so, I guess...

The Pussies are causing constipation in the Assholes, but the Assholes are causing constipation in EVERYTHING!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Don't Forget About the Stupid People

The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.”
-John Steinbeck

I don't want to come off as a pessimist, but here's the thing...

I'm frustrated. I'm pissed off. I feel disenfranchised. I feel ignored.

and here's why...

I've written letter after letter to politicians, and more than a few to political parties. I keep telling them one thing. In a nutshell, it can be boiled down to this:

Don't forget about the stupid people.

and here's what I mean by that...

The great George Carlin once said, “Imagine how stupid the average person is... now, realize that half the people are even dumber than that!” I've found this philosophy very useful in understanding the reasons that things are so bad right now.

You've got a bunch of evil, rich douchebags (like the Koch brothers) who understand how stupid people are, and have a subordinate organization (the Republican Party) to push their agenda and make it sound reasonable to said “stupid people”.

On the other side, you've got a bunch of people (the Democratic Party) who are so smart, they're stupid as well. These people, however, aren't stupid in the same way. Unlike the Republican stupid people, they possess the ability of CRITICAL THINKING! Unfortunately, that means that they think EVERYONE possesses the ability of critical thinking. As a result, they expect that the Republicans will have a sudden bout of rationality.

The fact of the matter is, if they are not able to think critically, then they will NEVER have that much-desired bout of rationality! The Democratic Party wants to give the stupid people the “benefit of the doubt.” They think that people will suddenly just "wake up."  They also, unfortunately, think that talking down to people is rude.

It's not “talking down” to people, though, if you're talking to them in a manner that they can relate to. If you talk over too many people's heads, they'll be more offended. They're more likely to think you're calling them stupid if you say things they are incapable of understanding, than if you HUMBLE yourself to speak to them in a way they can actually fucking relate to.

Remember during the 2008 elections, Republicans were referring to Democrats as “elitist?”

That's what they meant. “Elitism” means something different to Republicans than it does to Democrats.

Democrats see “elitism” as wealthy people talking down about poor people, as rich "Affluenza cases" are want to do, and have been increasingly verbal about.

Republicans see “elitism” as people who talk over their heads. Don't forget... these are people who OPPOSE education! Remember this?:

They think that education is “Liberal Indoctrination,” so they REJECT education readily! Therefore, when someone is more intelligent than them, they must be talking down to them like a snob! On top of that, if someone is more educated than them, they must be a filthy, stinkin', no good, Socialist, Fascist Liberal!


Most people WANT intelligent people leading them, don't they? After all, aren't smart people going to make better decisions? You'd think so... right?

Most of US would make that distinction, but when you see intelligence as the ENEMY, you're not going to vote for intelligent people; you're going to vote for people you believe to be more on YOUR level.

Let this serve as evidence of my previously posed assertion as to the lack of critical thinking skills of the people in the Republican Party. You or I READILY see the blatant failure of logic in abject hatred of intelligent people. Why do you think so many “facepalm” memes are floating around social media?

Consider Ken Ham, curator of the “Creation Museum.” He will never abandon his beliefs, because he has absolutely NO way to weigh one set of facts against another. Ergo, it really did nothing for Bill Nye to debate him, other than giving people more ammunition to laugh at the Creationists with. Very few positions will change.


This is a perfect example of the stupidity of intelligent people. The notion that debating indoctrinated people who completely lack reason might actually accomplish something, depicts the inability of intelligent people to realize HOW STUPID the stupid people are, and the lack of understanding as to why.

How often do you hear people ask, “Why don't they learn?” or “Why aren't they getting this?”

These questions often accompany facial expressions of pure confusion. The people asking these questions (usually news commentators) sit there, DUMBFOUNDED to the stupidity of things people say or do, never realizing that they're reporting on people who have NO ABILITY to change at this point!

ON A DAILY BASIS, I see or hear a talk show host, or a journalist, or another intellectual type person PULLING THEIR HAIR OUT because the person they're debating simply has no ability to challenge their knowledge or understanding, and the host completely fails to understand this fact about them. It should be noted, however, that in the case of politicians, they may be saying these things because they're PAID to say these things, regardless of what they truly believe.

On social media, if they feel they're being forced to challenge their beliefs, they talk over the person they're debating, attempt to change the topic, and ultimately resort to insults; many of which make no sense, as the person using them has no concept as to their meaning, but they've been told that these are BIG, BAD, DIRTY, LOW-DOWN things to call people, like “Socialist,” “Marxist,” “Maoist,” “Fascist,” and “Liberal.”

Think about it... haven't you noticed these things, yourself? Haven't you encountered people that are both incredibly stupid and incredibly hard-headed? Haven't you encountered REALLY stupid people who believe whole-heartedly that they're smarter than everyone else?

Too many people are either too stupid to know they're stupid, or so smart, they're stupid.

Monday, February 17, 2014

A Conundrum for the Ages

I realize I haven't written for a while.  I've been trying to branch out my talents and techniques, to encompass a broader variety of mediums.  I hope you've enjoyed my recent offerings.

So, dusting off the ol' cobwebs, I thought I'd share the most recent mental query loop I've been stuck in.  

I'm often very frustrated and conflicted between my beliefs, my thoughts, and reality. Sure, I realize that EVERYONE has these conflicts... that's what makes up half of our existence on this planet! Through a series of questions, I will demonstrate my current prevailing enigma... then, maybe someone ELSE can contemplate it as well, and I don't have to suffer this alone.

Question #1:
Is it ever ok to advocate for the death of someone (this includes capital punishment and/or murder)?

Question #2:
There are LEGITIMATE threats to society, due to lack of Psychological and/or Psychiatric treatment. Sometimes, they snap and shoot up movie theaters, malls, or schools. These people will never be re-introduced into society, and will likely only go on to kill more people in prison. Is their life as precious as yours or mine, if they are going to spend their life taking your life or mine?

Question #3:
Some of the most mentally deranged people are also the WEALTHIEST people. They use their money to ensure that the rest of the “unwashed masses” never see a dime. This is one of the effects of the recently coined term, “Affluenza.” These people are entirely destructive to society, and likely have no chance at rehabilitation. This is something that they WILL pass on to their children, further contributing to the problem. What should be done with them?

Question #4:
Given the political power these wealthy people have, it's likely that they will never see a courtroom for their crimes. If they DO somehow see a courtroom, they'll just pay a fine and continue to do what they are doing. This does NOTHING to solve the problem. If our Government and courts have been so deeply corrupted by the neutering money of the wealthy, how can we trust them to hold the wealthy to any kind of accountability for what they have done to us?

Question #5:
Given the level of corruption of governments (notice the plural) and destruction to society and the environment, which threatens us all, is this a matter that the World Court should take on as “Crimes Against Humanity”?

Question #6:
If our governments CAN'T act, and the World Court WON'T act to hold these people accountable for their crimes, including slavery, treason, global wealth theft, racketeering, bribery, extortion, and class genocide (their unwillingness to allow the poor the dignity of medical assistance, food, or basic needs by actively fighting against it while seeking greater wealth from the governments for themselves, IS a genocide of the poor!), at what point does it fall upon the duty of the PEOPLE OF THE WORLD to exact their justice from these people?

Question #7:
If the people were to do such a thing, what would justice be? Some form of “People's Court”? A tribunal held by the MASSES, rather than the courts they've corrupted? What good would that do, if we have to go through the Government and Courts to uphold any verdict?

Question #8:
Even if “the people” find these corrupt bastards guilty, their banks still have to be garnished. There would be no way to hold them accountable. What then?

Question #9:
Consider Bastielle day... the French Revolutionaries stormed the Bastielle, freed their friends and families who had been unfairly imprisoned, and then raided the Aristocracy and beheaded every rich asshole they could find; after which balance was restored to the distribution of wealth. But consider this... there were no BANKS back then! Everything was handled through precious metals!

Given the prevalence of banks in today's world, beheading the wealthy ruling elite really wouldn't accomplish anything more than kicking their fortunes down to their Affluenzic, worthless blueblood kids, and we face the same problem again. The only difference would be, the wealthy would protect themselves better, because they can afford better walls and landmines.

Result: nothing gained; problem potentially escalated. Wealthy get worse and more indignant. Hunger Games is created to give poor people SOME hope.

So, if our Governments CAN'T act, the World Court WON'T act, our own tribunal would accomplish NOTHING, and assassinations would only make things WORSE...

What should we do?

What CAN we do?

Are we just completely, incurably fucked?