Actually, Yes... You ARE a Bigot...

Some topics are unavoidable when they're prominent in the news. Lately, one of these topics has been that of marriage equality. One common theme keeps popping up, and it BOTHERS THE SHIT OUT OF ME! One such discussion happened recently at a local bar. It went something like this...

“I'm not a bigot; I just don't think gays should marry...”

Actually, yes... you ARE a bigot.

“NO I'M NOT! I have friends who are gay...”

… and yet, you think they're less of a human than you are?

“Why would you say that?”

Well, you don't think that they deserve to have the same rights that you do. If we, as humans, are supposed to have equal rights, then why do you think they don't deserve the same rights you do, then that would suggest that you see them as less human.

“But the Bible says it's wrong...”

Actually, the OLD TESTAMENT says that, and a lot of other crazy things... you left your ex-wife after she cheated on you... did you slaughter a fatted calf after stoning her? CHRISTians are supposed to look to the words of CHRIST; and in Matthew 19:12, he says (in the language of his time) that some PEOPLE are born gay.

If they are, indeed, people, as Jesus said, then don't they deserve to live under the umbrella of the words “Love thy neighbor?”

It doesn't say:

“Love thy neighbor*”

*Unless they're gay

“But the Church opposes it...”

The First 10 words of the First Amendment read “Congress shall pass no law respecting an establishment of Religion.” The position of your Church is irrelevant. Religious doctrine can't become law.

“But the next part says 'nor abridging the free-exercise thereof.' Laws can't discriminate on my religion.”

If you don't support gay marriage, don't have one. Your religious beliefs aren't being oppressed. However, if you're telling other people, who believe differently than you; that marriage is about love, rather than gender; that their religious beliefs can't be expressed, just like your's, because of YOUR beliefs, then aren't their religious beliefs being oppressed by yours?

“So just because someone chooses to be gay, they should be allowed special laws?”

When did you choose to be straight? Furthermore, how is that a “special law?” It seems to me that more laws have been created to DENY people this right... simply removing those laws, to make the current laws apply to EVERYONE sounds more like we're REMOVING “special laws,” going the other way; just like the repeal of the 3/5 clause in the Constitution.

"I didn't choose to be straight.  I just know I am."

So I guess, then, it's outrageous to think that other people might be born different than you.  I guess, then, everybody must be born with brown hair and blue eyes.  I guess, then, everybody must need glasses.  I guess we're all just born the same?

"Well, no... obviously not... but..."

So then, it's perfectly possible that someone else might grow up KNOWING they're gay... glad we settled that...

“But marriage is a religious pact. If the Constitution can't tell us how to worship, how can marriages be regulated by law?”

Actually, marriage is a contractual agreement with the State and Federal government. If it weren't, marriage status wouldn't affect taxes. If marriage weren't a legal contract, then everybody would have to file taxes individually, rather than as a married couple.

“But it'll hurt the economy...”

How will more weddings hurt an economy? That means more officiants, more cakes and bakers and bartenders and caterers and limo drivers and dove handlers and event planners and event centers (which may need to be built or renovated) and more gift registries (which means more gift buying... stuff needs to be made when stuff is bought) and more traveling and more hotel stays and eating out and more flying and driving and Amtraking and Busing... that all sounds like MORE jobs to me, and a BETTER economy...

“Gay marriage will threaten traditional marriages...”

So, if gays are allowed to marry, would you leave your new wife for a man?

“No... I'm not gay...”

Then YOUR marriage won't be threatened. Why should it matter to you?

“Well, it doesn't matter to me, but it might affect other people...”

And why is that your business?

“Well, it's not...”

Then it shouldn't matter...

“But marriage has ALWAYS been between one man and one woman.”

No it hasn't. In Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, some Native American tribes, Mormons, and many Muslim current countries, marriage is between one man and SEVERAL women, or two people who love each other, regardless of gender. The Roman Emperor, Caligula, married his horse. Clearly, marriage has NOT always been between 'one man and one woman.'

“And Ancient Greece and Rome fell; the Native Americans don't have many people left; the Mormons abandoned polygamy; and the Muslims are... well... Muslims...”

Greece and Rome fell because their empires got too big to maintain, and they collapsed beneath their own decadence and arrogance. Gay marriage had nothing to do with it; furthermore, it's largely because of CHRISTIANS that there aren't many Native Americans left; and after your comment about Muslims, how can you say you're not a bigot?

“Well, I was talking about gays; not Muslims...”

Should Muslims be allowed to marry?

“Well, of course they should.”

So why is it ok for Muslims, but not gays?

“Muslims believe in a God, just like I do.”

So Atheists shouldn't be allowed to get married, either?

“I didn't say that...”

Yes, you did... you said that the reason Christians and Muslims should be allowed to marry, is because they believe in God. Alternately, if someone doesn't believe in God, they shouldn't be allowed to marry.

“I didn't say that. There's no reason Atheists shouldn't marry...”

… as long as they're not gay...

“Right...”

Tell me again, how are you not a bigot?

“... uhhhhh...”

Personally, I Don't Give A Shit...

… about the Pope... and I'll tell you why...

I think it's safe to say that the Catholic Church is a nation without borders. The Pope, being the figurehead of their government, in my opinion, has a lot to answer for. At this point, I don't give a shit about who the fuck they choose, because no matter who it is, he's still going to be a symbol of a nation that continues to cling to archaic ideas that are doing the world's population GREAT harm!

At a time when THE REST OF THE WORLD is trying to battle AIDS in Africa, the Pope keeps coming along and SHAMING PEOPLE for taking the necessary precautions to prevent the spread of a deadly disease. How can he be considered a “humanitarian” whose organization “helps the poor,” if he stands in the way of the devices that the poor need?

The Ten Commandments says “Love thy neighbor”... but apparently, that stops at the doorstep of a GAY neighbor... even though Jesus never told you to hate anyone other than “Money Changers”... Jesus never said ANYTHING about hating the gays... in fact, Mat. 19:12 iswhere Jesus said that gay people are BORN GAY! But the Pope still believes them to be lesser humans. Jesus, himself, said that people were born gay, which means that they are no different than the “neighbors” spoken of in the Ten Commandments. For that matter, would Jesus think there are ANY “lesser humans?” We're talking about a guy who hung out with whores and lepers... a person who said “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.”

Did you hear that? He used the word “BROTHERS”... that means no matter WHO they are, we're all in the same brotherhood of man... which means that the Church's bigoted posturing against gay human beings is entirely antithetical to the words of the person their whole religion is built around!

… On top of that... if Jesus hated the “Money Changers” (bankers), then why is there a “Vatican Bank?”

The Catholic Church CLAIMS to preach peace... and yet, owns a controlling stake inBeretta Arms...

I'm sorry, but you can't have it both ways. You can't claim to “preach peace” while manufacturing weapons of war. That's the ULTIMATE hypocrisy!

… but then again, the Catholic Church HAS been known, in the past, to use... shall we say...

... less than subtle techniques...

...to get people to convert...

More than once, they've seen death as a punishment for the “crime” of not believing what they do.

… so if that's the case, then why should we be SURPRISED that they own an arms company??? They haven't historically been the “friendliest” religion when it comes to people who believe differently, so I suppose this is just the next natural step for them... although... that doesn't indemnify them from the label of hypocrisy... that's going to linger around their neck until they give up imperialism as a business model.

Now, let's consider the number of pedophile Priests that the Vatican has covered for. People DESERVE justice for the ways they've been wronged, and the Pope stands between the humiliation of the Church and the simple acknowledgement of wrongdoing to the victims!

Yes, the Church SHOULD be humiliated!  But with their refusal to submit to justice, they're only digging their hole deeper.  If the Pope would just come out and APOLOGIZE, and stop protecting the bastards, that would go a long way towards reconciliation... just ADMITTING that they have a problem... JUST ACKNOWLEDGING IT... 

... but they won't even do that...

In my mind, the Catholic Church has a lot to answer for... genocides... hypocrisy... pedophilia... spread of disease... malicious hate...

… and until they have a Pope who's willing to speak to these atrocities, I don't give a shit about the Pope.

Anybody else agree???

It Must Suck to be God

Imagine, if you will, the life of God...

God, the almighty...

God, the magnificent...

God, the all-knowing...

Who the fuck wants THAT kind of experience? Nothing new. No changes. No innovations. Everything’s always the same. That’s a world that would disgust me. No mysteries… you already fuckin' know everything. You know exactly why everything happens, so you just expect everything that’s going to happen.

That would REALLY suck! That would probably mean no music… no movies… no Hitchcock or Twilight Zone… no Welles' “War of the Worlds”… no reading… no news…

You know, when you think about it like that...

... it must REALLY suck to be God!

In an omnipotent, omniscient existence, what do you really have to look forward to? If you already know everything and you can make anything happen, what kind of hobbies can you possibly have?

You’ve got some people who love you, some people who fear you, and some people who don’t even think you exist... nobody calls you by the same fuckin’ name... some people think you have multiple personalities and refer to different things you do by different names. Sometimes, people get so crazy that they start killing each other in your name, neither side realizing that the other guys are really following the same entity.

… and then there are the varying stories about your children…

If we’re to trust legend, you have one kid who went into a blind rage, killed his family, and had to complete a bunch of impossible labors as atonement for his crimes; 

another kid who got crucified by the Romans;

another kid who got pissed off and stole your eye… 

of course, there are MORE stories, but it's kind of hard to top that one...

… your kids are a real handful; but since they’re the LITERAL children of God, you HAVE to be a parent because no mortal can POSSIBLY have the ability to be an effective parent to a demi-God. You have a stressful, time-consuming job that takes a lot of time from your family. Hell, even when you’re with them, you’re still working. You never took them to Disneyland… you never played catch with them… even when you WERE with them, you were always on the phone…

In empathy, I offer this: Who can BLAME them for rejecting authority?

Yep… life is tough when you’re God. Just think… that’s just the BEGINNING… (and just one WORLD... who the fuck knows how many MORE you're overseeing on the side...)

Everybody wants you to do shit for them. Some people thank you for what you do for them, but most really don’t have a clue what you’ve provided for them. Almost nobody notices the little things… the beauty in the world; like butterflies and rainbows and shit.  

When you’re God, it’s your job to kill everyone and everything. In the long run, everything you’ve created has to be destroyed… by you! That makes it really hard to make friends. When you know you’re going to have to kill someone later, do you really want to get too close to them? Sure, maybe you’ll see them again, but nobody really knows for sure (except God).

Christians believe that you either go to Heaven, Hell, or Limbo (in some circles). Atheists think you just end and there’s nothing after that (yes, I do consider Atheism to be a faith, because religions have faith that there IS a God, and Atheists have faith that there is nothing. Either way, it’s all faith, and it's large groups of people who all believe the same thing.) Odinists believe you cross the Rainbow Bridge to Valhalla and spend your afterlife with past warriors.

The truth is, nobody can claim to know FOR SURE whether there is or isn’t a God. Nobody’s met him face to face since Moses. (Sorry, Mrs. Bachmann and Misters Bush, Perry, and Cain... those voices in your head are NOT “The Lord”) Nobody can provide conclusive evidence of his existence or of his absence. There are STORIES about God, but nobody that wrote them is around to substantiate the claims. We just have to take the books that contain the stories at their word.

… although...

When you’re God, you always have a great view of the sunset. You can go to the top of any mountain. You can visit any moment in time. You can lick the beaters whenever you want. You can always watch “Ghostbusters.” You can experience any beauty you want, at any time you want.

Here’s the truth about God...

… at least, the truth as I see it, when I use my own logic...

God neither loves us nor hates us. God is ambivalent. God is random. Like I said, God can’t get to know anybody; he’ll just have to kill them later.

There’s no one person he likes more than any other person; they’re all the same. We’re all just pawns. There are no REAL kings or rooks. Everybody has the same role to play: fodder.

We serve our purpose, then we get taken off the board. Does the game ever get reset? Do we ever play again?

Who the fuck knows???

If you make it all the way to the other side of the board, do you get to bring someone else back to life, before going off and doing whatever you want? Nobody will ever have the definitive answers for these questions. Once you’re gone, you’re gone, and there’s no coming back to tell anyone what the fuck happened later.

Nobody can ever claim to know God on a personal level. Nobody will ever be omniscient or omnipotent, so nobody will ever be able to claim that they “get” God. God is more complicated than Shaft... and HE’S a complicated man!

So when you’re God, you’re constantly misunderstood, lonely, bored, ambivalent, and manically both creating and destroying things... just TELL ME that doesn’t suck! Who the fuck can blame him for throwing an earthquake or a flood every once in a while? Dealing with all of that can NOT be good for one’s Psychological fitness!

… and just think… God’s been at it FOREVER, and he’s NEVER GONNA STOP! There was never a beginning and there will never be an end. Could you imagine feeling like that? Wouldn’t you get tired? I mean, you never get a vacation… you work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! It’s NEVER ENDING! How would YOU like to exist, knowing that you will never have a break? It’s not like working a regular job… 40 hours a week… No, you’ll never have a day off, despite what the Bible says.

God never stops working... I mean, it’s not like time just STOPS on Sunday… things happen… if things are happening, God is working… it’s that simple. If you don’t believe it, then any time there’s a natural disaster on a Sunday, you can’t fuckin’ blame God for it! If you TRULY believe that Sunday is a “day of rest” and that it’s supposed to be God’s “day of rest” as well, then you can’t believe he’s making tornadoes and hurricanes and shit on his day off!

Consider this; the Bible ALSO says that to God, a millennium is as a day… TECHNICALLY, that means that God takes a thousand years off after every six thousand years working! The last time he TRIED to take time off, the dark ages happened, and he had to come back to work EARLY! He couldn’t take ANY time off without us REALLY fuckin’ things up!

Of course, if God DOES, indeed, take time off, then that means time DOES stop. Supposedly, God makes time happen. So if God takes a break, that means time stops. This says to me that one day, we’re all gonna wake up and there’s gonna be a MILLENNIUM worth of dust all over everything. We’ll all look around and say “what the fuck HAPPENED last night?”

YOU only work FIVE DAYS before taking TWO days off! You lazy fuck! Look at how hard GOD works! What makes YOU better than GOD?

Arrogant bastard!

However, if you DON’T believe these things, you’re fine… just keep doing what you’re doing…

Consti-Tuesday: "Freedom" of Religion

Here we are... our second installment of Consti-Tuesday. Having covered the Preamble last week, it only seems appropriate to continue on to the First Amendment. Sure, I could do the Articles of the Constitution, but there's just too much there to decide where to go first, so I think I'll come back to those issues as they present themselves to be necessary in later debates... cool?

So... the First Amendment...

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

(text from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution)

Let's be honest, here... there's a lot packed into it, and quite frankly, that's a lot to conquer in one post, so I'll break it down to several pieces in order to keep it more readable.

We'll start today, with the first two little sections. (“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...”)

Why is it that the FIRST TEN WORDS are so hard for so many people to acknowledge?

“Congress shall pass no law respecting an establishment of religion...”

For some reason, people of one particular religious leaning fail on every level to realize that this means THEIR RELIGION can't be used to affect law! That's where our bigoted laws preventing the marriage of loving couples comes from. “Certain people” think that because THEIR religion says that gays are lesser human beings at best (and SUB-HUMANS in some circles), that means THEIR religious beliefs should be shoved on everybody else. These are the same people who use THEIR religion to claim that Abortion should be illegal.

Here's some news, though... YOUR religion doesn't speak for EVERYONE! That's why the Amendment says YOUR religion can't become law, and neither can ANYBODY ELSE'S! (yes, that means that your fears of "Shariah Law" taking over the courts... I'm looking at YOU, Oklahoma... *remember?... are founded in absolute ignorance of the Constitution)

Those are also the people who like to say that America is a “Christian nation”... no... it's not... “Congress shall pass no law respecting an establishment of religion”... remember?

They also use THEIR religion to say that SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN FACTS can't be used when educating our country's children! Just because YOUR book says something contrary to what FACTS have determined, doesn't make it true! I mean, would you be as apt to have students taught that the world is actually on the back of a turtle, floating through the Universe, like OTHER PEOPLE'S beliefs state? I doubt it... but THEIR book says so, so what's to say THEIR theory isn't just as relevant as your's? Don't like THEIR religion being shoved down YOUR throat? Tough shit! That's EXACTLY what you've been doing to everyone else!

… such arrogance is destructive and belligerent...

Let's look at the second half of the first part now, shall we?

“... nor abridging the free exercise thereof...”

... huh...

... nobody can tell me how to worship...

… unless I use marijuana in my religious practice, as is done in virtually every corner of the world, by people of several different faiths...

Let's be honest... some people CAN'T celebrate their religion lawfully because a certain aspect of their faith has been made illegal in one way or another.

From that perspective, let's consider the job market...

Even companies who claim to be “Equal Opportunity Employers” will discriminate against people who use marijuana for spiritual purposes... If you have THC in your pee, you can't work there... the fact that it's part of your RELIGION doesn't make a lick of difference!

… and, of course, if someone claims religious freedom in this respect, they must be lying just to get high, right? Well, who the fuck are YOU to tell ANYBODY that their belief is illegitimate just because it's not how YOU worship???

Allow me to delve into my own belief a little bit, here...

I believe that God is the absolute intangible personification of purity. Given that fact, bringing thoughts and feelings of “corruption” (anger, hate, arrogance, fear, etc.) into a conversation with God is an abomination akin to blasphemy. Marijuana is a holy herb that drives away “corrupt” thoughts and feelings, so as to maintain the purity of God.

In most of the country (with the current exception of Washington and Colorado), if I'm caught with marijuana, I would go to jail for violating the law, despite my own personal beliefs. MY religion doesn't matter in the eyes of the law, because I don't purport to follow a "major" religion.

… doesn't that sound like they're “abridging the free exercise” of my beliefs? I'd sure as fuck say so...

It's fairly rare that BOTH parts of the first part of the First Amendment are observed congruently. People see one part, but not the other. When will people start looking at EVERYTHING, instead of just the shit they like?

I call this “Constitutional Cafeterianism,” meaning they treat the Constitution like a cafeteria... they only see what they want and ignore the rest... and, of course, if it's there, it must be there JUST FOR THEM!  You don't have to share anything at a cafeteria... if you want to try something, you just get some of it.  So, of course, what you have is YOUR'S and YOUR'S alone!  This is something we HAVE to stop doing! It's arrogant, ignorant, and elitist; and it's a philosophy that we don't need ANYWHERE near our laws!

What it all boils down to is, everyone worships differently. One group's beliefs shouldn't be EVERYONE'S law, and that's EXACTLY what this part of the Amendment says! Furthermore, just because you don't agree with the way someone practices their faith, that doesn't mean they're wrong for practicing it their way! The Amendment says that, too!

The two go together FOR A REASON! You can't have one without the other! You can't pick and choose! Plain and fuckin' simple!

Time to get back on track, America... why can't we all just... get along? Why can't we all just... let people worship the way they please and keep our religion to ourselves?

Consider this... in Article VI, sec. 3, it further enforces the First Amendment by stating “... no religious test shall ever be required as qualification for any office or public trust under the United States...”

Get it? YOUR religion doesn't make you qualified for ANY office! Therefore, even MENTIONING your religion on the campaign trail is a VIOLATION of the Constitution! If your religion doesn't make you qualified for your office, it can't be used to justify the laws you make, either!

On top of that, consider this... if you think that your Christian beliefs are something that should be shoved on everyone, look at Matthew 6:5...

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.” (http://bible.cc/matthew/6-5.htm King James version)

How do you like that? Since you made SUCH a big deal of pushing YOUR shit on other people, you won't be going to Heaven... what's more, EVEN JESUS THINKS YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE!

Don't like it? Sorry... it's YOUR Bible... just like the Constitution, if you don't like it, tough shit! You can't pick and choose. It's right there in Jesus' own words... sorry to point that out, but your delusion called for it.

See? The Constitution isn't the ONLY document that tells you to keep it to yourself... your own holy book says so, too! I don't give a fuck if it's inconvenient to your political motivations... blow me!

… and for those of the people who think that what I'm saying is wrong just because it's coming from a “Non-Christian”... for those of the people who think that I should be blocked or banned for speaking my mind, allow me to introduce you to the next part of the Constitution, which I will get to at a later time...

“... nor abridging the […] freedom of speech...”

I can say it as loud as I want, in any way I want, with any tone that I want, and if you don't like it, tough shit!